What does strength mean to you?
Strength has so much more to do with than the size of your muscles. Strength for me comes from the inside. It’s a feeling, a presence. It’s how you present yourself to others. Raising two daughters is hard, but my goal is to teach them how to be strong and confident. There is a lot of ugly in the world and I want them to know how to navigate through it all.
Do you remember Elizabeth Smart? She was the girl who was abducted from her home and held captive at 14 years old. I saw an interview her dad gave once where he said he had taught his daughters to be kind, but he never taught them to be strong. That one statement rocked me to my core. I knew from that moment on it was my job to show my daughters how to be strong. Not just teach them.
I had to SHOW them. That meant I had to figure out how to become strong myself.
Growing up in a interacial family in a small town I always felt different. I wanted so desperately to fit in and be liked. My appearance made me stand out. There were not many girls with brown skin and an afro. I would spend endless hours trying to straighten my curly hair because I thought that was what was beautiful. I realize now that I thought that was beautiful because that’s what the popular white girls had. I had no idea what I actually thought was beautiful.
I spent all of my childhood and well into my adult life still feeling this way. Then I had my first daughter.
I wanted her to be strong. I wanted her to wear whatever SHE loved. I wanted her to stand up for what she believes in. Oh boy did she run with it! Jada is 17 and has always had her very own style. In elementary school I swear she would just try to see how far she could push me.
I almost always let her wear it, though inside I was terrified that the other kids were going to make fun of her. The funny thing about bullies is that they live off the response they get. If someone would call Jada weird she would look them right in the face and say “Thank You”. She couldn’t care less.
She truly taught me what it meant to be strong and confident. To wear things you like because YOU like them, no matter what anyone thinks.
Now with Amelia I find myself having to do it again. It’s a little harder with her because she is more like I was as a kid. She worries that people will think she’s weird or that they will laugh at her. She doesn’t want to stand out and wants her hair straightened, or as she calls it, “flat out”.
My message to her is still the same. You do it because YOU like it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I tell her that her hair is beautiful no matter how she wears it.
We talk about how I workout to be strong. I do not say words like fat, skinny, toned, chubby, cellulite or weight loss. We talk about healthy habits. She knows that we go on walks, drink water and eat vegetables because they are healthy habits. I tell her to show me her muscles and show me how strong she is and she loves it.
I think it’s important to think about the dialogue you use with your children. They are always listening and will mimic you whether you realize it or not. That may mean you must first change the dialogue you have with yourself.
I talk to my clients in the same manner. I want them to be healthy and strong, but most of all I want them to be happy. I give them manageable goals to hit so they can achieve sustainable life long results. It’s about changing their lifestyle. I encourage them the same way I encourage my daughters. I celebrate their wins and get them back on track when they have a bad week. That’s what being a coach is to me, giving my clients the tools so that one day they don’t need me anymore.
If you are interested in Private coaching I would love to help you change your life. I am having a Black Friday Sale beginning Thanksgiving night at 6pm EST. I will be bundling many of my training programs with up to 45% discounts. I will also be offering 1 month free of private coaching when you purchase 3 months. That’s a saving of $125! Make sure to set your reminders so you don’t miss out on this one time sale. Just in time for all those New Year’s resolutions!
I can’t wait to get you STRONG!
Sweet and Spicy Macros 